Uhura: Are you feeling alright, Leonard?
McCoy: I’m fine, except for this one headache that comes and goes
Kirk: *Enters room*
McCoy: There it is again
Incorrect ‘Friends’ quotes (in which Kirk is Monica and Bones is Chandler)
- Bones: Pardon my French, but Spock is so tight that if you stuck a lump of coal up his ass, in two weeks you'd have a diamond.
- Jim: *flings underwear into Bones's face* your left these in my room
- Bones: jim we are at wORK
- Bones: You know, now that you mention it, there is something I'll be needing from you.
- Spock: What?
- Bones: Your absence.
Pike: I have to ground you. I am grounding you. You are grounded.
Jim: What about the academy?
Pike: Fine. Other than class. And no PADDS.
Jim: The PADD is broken.
Pike: Then no communicator.
Jim: I need it for when I’m working.
Pike: Then no…no Leonard.
Jim: What?! No Bones?
Pike: No Leonard!
- Pike: So. Who broke it? I’m not mad, I just wanna know.
- Uhura: ...I did. I broke it.
- Pike: No. No you didn’t. Kirk?
- Jim: Don’t look at me. Look at Bones.
- Bones: What? I didn’t break it.
- Jim: Oh that’s weird. How’d you even know it was broken?
- Bones: Because it’s sitting right in front of us and it’s broken.
- Jim: Suspicious.
- Bones: No it’s not!
- Sulu: If it matters, probably not, but Chekov was the last one to use it.
- Chekov: Liar! I don’t even drink that crap!
- Sulu: Oh really? Then what were you doing by the coffee cart earlier?
- Chekov: I use the wooden stirrers to push back my cuticles, everyone knows that!
- Uhura: Okay, let’s not fight. I broke it. Let me pay for it, sir.
- Pike: No. Who broke it?
- Bones: Sir...Spock's been awfully quiet.
- Spock: Really, Doctor?
- [Everyone starts arguing]
- Pike [later]: I broke it. It burned my hand so I punched it. I predict 10 minutes from now they’ll be at each other’s throats with warpaint on their faces and a pig head on a stick. Good. It was getting a little chummy around here.
- Jim: attention crew of the enterprise...
- Jim: stop going to the med bay when you don't need medical assistance just to see Doctor McCoy...
- Jim: I know he's handsome but he has patients who really need his assistance...
- Bones: and...
- Jim: and also don't injure yourselves just to go down to med bay either, don't do that...
medbaycaptain